Happy Father's Day

Even If It Is Trendy

Dad kicked Ben's ass once. Ben Vining. And literally. He did an excited little dance across the room and kicked Ben right in the butt. Ben had a piece of paper taped to his back, with the name of a celebrity on it, from a game he played with his church's youth group, but Dad just assumed it said Kick Me. Because really, how often does anyone have a piece of paper taped to their back that says anything other than Kick Me? Dad saw an opportunity and seized it. And it was awesome. It became a trump card of story telling for a while. Has your dad kicked Ben in the ass? No? Then clearly he is not as cool as mine.

I remember being crushed when Dad was disappointed in me for not keeping up with Tai Chi. Which was weird, because my typical response to disapproval is to say Fuck 'em. If you don't like what I do, as I do, bugger off. It's an attitude that may have something to do with me now alternating between apologizing to my parents for just about anything I've ever said, and disclaiming responsibility for anything that ever happened before I became Sam's problem. I went into the computer room, and Dad had two Tai Chi swords. Actually there were four or five, but only two were not made from old pipes. But I thought he only had one, and I said as much. He said "I bought that for you back when I thought you'd keep practicing with me." And I was just devastated. No idea where my defiance was then, but it sure wasn't there to prop me up. I thought about it for weeks. Still don't know why that one got me. I was a brat about chores, fucked up my college education, and I suck at being employed. I guess I had come to terms with all that? Shoulda kept up with Tai Chi though.

He did trick me into eating those dog crackers. And I got him back, getting him to knock back a handful of Pop Rocks without knowing what they were. But if he's looking at the ceiling when I walk into the room, I pretty much fall for it every time.

And there's a smile I have, for enjoying people being ridiculous. Aaron calls it my cheese-dick smile, but he mostly see it when I catch his hypocrisy, and he knows I've caught him; He's naturally not a fan. I remember a version of it. Dad has a smile that says "Ok. I'll let that slide. But you'll figure it out eventually. And I could say I told you, or See, that's what I meant, but I won't have to, because you'll figure that out too." You see that smile, and you know you're missing part of a joke. It's not bad, because the jokes not on you so much as it is you. And what can you do? You'll get it eventually. Mine's not that complex. I haven't been a dad long enough to have a paragraph smile. But I think I've gotten up to "Oh yeah?" Baby steps are still steps in the right direction.

Shopping for him is impossible, along with the related fields of recommending books, music, or movies. But I can tell him the latest thing it's taken me 28 years to learn, and at least get a smile for it.



Cat: Pretending to sleep on the back of the couch
Soundtrack: Carolina Chocolate Drops - Hit 'em Style